woman shaping heart with hands
Reflections

Mind Over Matter

I’ve reflected within the year of 2020 of how many historical pivots unfolded (and continue to develop). Yet, I haven’t shared with you what I’ve learned from the radical year of 2020 (one to never be forgotten). Thus, no better place then here right? I welcome you on my journey of reflection. I’ll do my best to keep it engaging, sparkle a little humor and make it worth your time.

woman shaping heart with hands
Photo by Artem Podrez on Pexels.com

First, I must preface this entry with a note of appreciation. If you’re taking the time to read this, thank you. Your time is valued and valuable. May you receive the energy and inspiration in return for your engagement. Heck, if you don’t know me and you’re just reading this for the heck of it- may I kindly introduce you to my world. It’s not fancy. It’s somewhat predictable. It’s full of metaphors and attempts at humor. I am me and may this be apparent in my scripting.

Furthermore, if I could place one phrase to my 2020 experience, it’d be MIND OVER MATTER. Let me explain more as this phrase may be applicable to your experience too (though I hope you didn’t endure the same situations as I). I am going to give light to this phrase in sequential reflection.

On March 17th, 2020, it was the last day that I worked ‘in building.’ (3-17-20: do the math there for a second). I remember the energy on this last day in our school building. Sorrow, stress, anxiety, tension, uncertainty. Teachers grieving the fact they didn’t say goodbye to their students. Determining what to pack up and take home. Needing a hug but not able to get one. Deep and dear concerns for their students and selves. I never thought that I wouldn’t be returning for the upcoming school year. It truly was my last day in the corner office of the library as an Instructional Coach.

As Spring Trimester (pandemic power-up teaching) unfolded, I gained new skills and became a Technology Coach in a flash. I was quickly delivering training on Microsoft Platforms and mastered Zoom like a BOSS! I was able to train teachers so they could connect with each other and their families in a FLASH! Teachers truly are superheroes! They mastered a TON in a short amount of time and without hesitation HEARTfully engaged in their new learning! I wish they could receive bonuses for their hard work. I can honestly vouch that they are working harder and longer than they EVER have before. They are weathered. Give your kid’s teacher some grace. They are doing the best they can.

So then came June. My daughter is no longer a first grader and on her way to second grade. I cried as I told her first grade teacher “thank you” and “goodbye” (She was moving to the East Coast). We all took a deep breath and called the wacky 2019-2020 school year to a close. The last staff meeting was EMOTIONAL when it’s typically full of smiles and silliness.

As summer break began, I was able to be 100% mom and wife. Yet, a nasty ear infection gave me a curve ball. Long story short, I was knocked down for almost 3 months with an infection that turned a million different directions. I now understand that I am severely allergic to cipro antibiotics and that my ear had a long road to healing (don’t ask me how my ear is doing because I’ll glare at you!)

It was a beautiful summer and we enjoyed some new founded family memories. YET, something interfered AGAIN.

Friday night is always easy dinner night. “Bacon and eggs!” The family shouted. “No prob! Got it!” Haha! Well, I will never cook bacon in the oven AGAIN due to this trauma. One small bump when taking the bacon out of the oven gave me a third degree burn on my inner elbow. Ouch doesn’t EVEN explain it. We’ll just leave the story there. You can imagine the details. I hope you can’t empathize.

At this point, I thought I was done with curve balls and injuries. Well. Not yet. Another simple move creating a severe injury. (Its 2020 right?!)

Long story short, I broke a ramekin in the kitchen and it fell on my foot causing nerve damage. The pain was undescribable. Again, I hope you can’t empathize.

After all these crazy events, I was weathered. Yet, hence the 2020 phrase for myself (thereafter): Mind over Matter.

Coincidentally, I’ve written this before. It all goes full circle. When unexpected things happen to you (both good and hard), its the mindset you hold in reflection for how it’s going to impact you. Now, I don’t want to disvalue traumatic experiences because they do change us. Yet, with intent, we choose how we can GROW from them.

I want to wrap this up on a positive note. Our 2020 experiences are going to be a part of our personal history. Our world will be looking back at this history for decades to come. Yes, students will be studying this in their future classes. Yet what we learn from our personal experiences and how we grow is determined by our MINDSET, not our conditions.

woman resting on wooden bench in meadow with fresh grass
Reflections

CovidChronicles Year 1

March 17th, 2020. 3-17-20. 3+17=20. Last Day. First Day. I ponder this deeply. What was it the last of? What was it the beginning to? Yes, my world radically changed quicker than I hope it ever will. The optimist in me found hope and that ‘two weeks’ may be a reality, but the realist reached into me clearly showing differently. Therefore, I am going to lean into reflection with positivity as I know the potential to jump into the negative impacts. #marigoldpower

Friday March 14th, 2020 was a what-if, news-says, what’s-going-on, do-I-say-goodbye, what-do-I-pack-from-my-office-just-in-case, kinda day. A hell-of-a-lot-of-uncertainty. I remember somberly leaving that afternoon after a long hug from my friend hoping for a great weekend and a ‘hope-to-see-you-Monday’ send-off. Over the weekend, the news was on far more than it ever is. The anxiety and tension was at an unhealthy high. And after the late-Sunday announcement that schools are closed- tears, grief, uncertainty, stress FLOODED me. Questions arose. Next steps to-be-determined. I knew at that point, we were in a new-time and history was beginning to unfold. So I grabbed my ‘boot-straps’ and hunkered down to make the damn best of it!

As educators, we were expected to come in on Monday to ‘create plans.’ To this day, that was one of the most awkward days of my career. We had to return to our ‘normal’ space without students (which was in itself a whole other complex grief). <= teachers love being with kids, so this was harder for them than you know. Long story short- sitting in a freezing cold gym at our own lunch tables and having our admin in just as much shock as us, try to lead the way, put us all into survival mode. Reasoning and decision making was HARD. But we had to do, what we had to do, and “whatever it takes,” took into true effect. We did our best to do our best during an incredibly challenging and radically shifted time.

Now- instead of articulating the exact moments unfolded during the COVID year, I’d like to focus on skills developed and growth gained. Ready?! Let’s do this.

Let’s kick off with some humor (lighten the spirit a bit).

I am now able to…

  • unload the dishes like a champ: there really is a system now developed due to frequency
  • choose my most cozy clothes to feel like a boss
  • claim my space in my home: the corner with the cozy chair is MINE 🙂

Now let’s get serious (how my (your?) life has changed since March 2020)…..

  • a hug is worth a million dollars now (seriously- seratonin release!)
  • spending time with my child has affirmed what’s most important to me (and that taking me-time is healthy for our relationship)
  • how bright and capable my child has become with having consistency and predictability
  • being courageous and trying new things is not as scary as I thought

I’ll leave it at that. I could spend some more time in reflection but I like to be authentic and go from the heart.

Considering this, a lot has unfolded for all of us. We grieve. We gain. We grow. We innovate. We collaborate (in new ways).

I want to leave you with this wonder– how has your life GROWN since March 2020? How are you going to continue to NURTURE this growth?

Reflections

Normal? Abnormal? By What Measure?

Google defines Normal as: [ˈnôrməl]ADJECTIVE conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected. Google then defines Abnormal as: [abˈnôrməl]ADJECTIVE deviating from what is normal or usual, typically in a way that is undesirable or worrying.

How would YOU define normal? Yes, context matters, but is there REALLY a line of normalcy? Why do we need to “conform” to be considered “normal” and what typical standard expects us to “conform”? And why do we keep MEASURING ourselves by these human-defined-yet-unnamed-standards.

Alright. Lets start on the positive. When I found out my Enneagram Number and dove deeper into my profile, I wanted to go on a date with my husband and share mine and get to know his. It AMAZED me how spot on it was for me in how it defined some of the things that were challenging and what came easier for me. Simply knowing this information created confidence and encouraged connection. This information provided me feedback and made me feel somewhat ‘normal’ with my profile and personality. Though when I engaged in conversation and reflection, the word “better” and “worse” arose. This made me go down the rabbit hole of thinking- is one Enneagram profile BETTER than another? Was mine WORSE to have? Comparative Language Arose.

As human beings, we are wired to be comparative. What we compare and how we communicate our comparisons, are fundamental to how we connect, correct and keep relationships. It takes self-control and self-awareness to be uplifting and empowering with our language and thoughts. My wonder is why does being a parent create a gravitation of judgement? I understand that our kids deserve the BEST, yet defining what is considered BEST creates the ‘good’ parent and ‘bad’ parent paradigm. What makes this even more complicated is the neurodiversity of our children and selves. Atop of this also lies our intergenerational disciplinary practices and beliefs (which creates a one-size-fits-all thinking). What is often considered normal for you, is far from what is considered normal for someone else. Yet this shouldn’t divide us because we could actually be learning something from each other.

Trying to act normal is the most unnatural behavior of all.

Sharyn McCrumb

Most commonly we compare human behavior. As a parent of a child with neurodiversity, this creates a social and relational challenge. Oftentimes, when my child is experiencing a sensory meltdown, it is often perceived as ‘failed parenting.’ Considering this, it impacts decision making, opportunity and relationship development. It subconsciously creates a secondary trauma. Yet, it also creates the most genuine and rich friendships and relationships with those that understand the challenges with raising a neurodiverse child. I have equally learned that what’s considered “normal” for them is not the same “normal” for me- yet we embrace the “normal” designed by each member of their family. Therefore, we are relationally rich and diversity dense, which in turn makes us feel more WHOLE.

Which leads me back to the definition of “NORMAL.” Is this definition (contextually and relationally) holding you back? Are you meeting your full potential or are you limiting yourself? Are you engaged in meaningful, authentic relationships? Or are you holding back because of fear of judgment?

Considering the definition (from Google) that “Normal” is considered CONFORMING to a STANDARD and “Abnormal” being a DEVIATION of that….. what standards are you CONFORMING to that may be DEVIATING you from your TRUE self?

*Side Note- as I composed this blog, “neurodiverse” is red-underlined and is being suggested to be changed to “neurodiversity.” It’s only registering as a noun, not an adjective. Hmm……

butterfly perched on the yellow petaled flower during daytime
Reflections

The Marigold Effect

The “marigold effect” refers to the practice of companion planting. Gardeners intentionally plant certain plants together to protect and nurture their growth.

Marigold plants are one of the best companion plants because they repel bugs and fungal diseases. By planting a marigold next to your vegetable plants, they will grow bigger and be protected by the marigold’s properties.

On the contrary, when some plants are planted alongside of others, they negatively impact the growth of the plants that surround them. For example, when a walnut tree is planted alongside another plant, it absorbs the nutrients from the given plant so the walnut tree can produce more walnuts and grow healthier and stronger.

With this basic information, you can understand the basics of companion planting. If you would like additional recommendations for planting a successful garden, I can refer you to my mother-in-law, who is an expert in this area. My job here is to utilize this information to generate a metaphor to develop clarity for developing nurturing relationships for growth and well-being.

As you can now imagine, marigolds can metaphorically represent the kind of human we hope to be around: those that support, nurture and strengthen us. We can do our best to choose “marigolds” as friends or co-workers, but sometimes we end up in a “walnut tree” partnership. These partnerships can become overwhelming and drain our best energy.

Now, when you find a ‘marigold friend,’ you develop a nurturing partnership. You are able to receive and provide the right amount of ‘nutrients’ to grow together as well as develop capacity independently. This is the Marigold Effect.

As you are planted alongside another, choose to be a Marigold, so you can have an enriching effect on the shared environment. If you find yourself “planted” nearby a walnut-tree, feel free to revisit your harvest and where you’re planted. If ‘environmental change’ is not an option, boundaries in ‘nutrient’ sharing can be a helpful option for mutual growth.

I truly don’t believe that walnut tree friends intend to toxify the relationships, they just don’t know how to seek nourishment in a healthy way. And for that reason, I do not believe we should abandon our walnut trees, but to choose how and when we interact with them.

As educators, we exist in a world filled with marigolds and walnut trees, where unity is crucial. As we co-exist, its essential for us to not just share nutrients but also embracing the nutrients provided to us for growth.

Through mindful and respectful synergy, we can inspire, enrich and nurture a strong team and rich harvest.

person on a bridge near a lake
Reflections

Education in 2020

So I decided to look through old files this weekend and I came across a file in my Masters of Education folder titled “Education in 2020.” Instantly- I laughed out loud. Remember doing a 5-10-15-20 year write in elementary school? Yeah, similar to that. This assignment was imagining what education would be like in the year 2020. This feels a little Back to the Future….

In 2010, this was my outlook for technology integration in education:

The advancement of technology has a significant influence and role in day-to-day life. You seek technology to communicate, organize and produce. Because of this, education is largely organized around the computer. With computers, instruction and curriculum is tailored to individual needs, learning style, and mastery. A computer program is able to assess prior knowledge and build experience and knowledge individualistically. The computer allows access to instant communication with anyone around the world. A teleconference in the classroom provides a priceless learning opportunity. Essentially, they can travel without having to get on a plane. This alone provides unique opportunities for all.

Mind blowing right?! Ok, maybe just for me. By no means a premonition, BUT- wow. Who would have thought the universe would make this a reality?

Now, this is a little more frightening. As a teacher, we feel threatened by this right now. Technology advances are impacting our potential for genuine connection. It’s also impacting our craft as an educator. Being in the classroom before 2020, we were integrating technology to enrich our learning experiences, not replace our instructional practices. Here’s another snippet from my 2010 prediction of the impact of technology:

Technological advances have allowed all the information to be at our fingertips immediately.  When students are learning faster because information is provided faster and applicability is more immediate, it has begun to cast a shadow on education. The role of the teacher in education is beginning to change because of this. A teacher is often represented through a computer. The knowledge the teacher has doesn’t seem to be as important as how much the computer has to offer.”

Yikes. Re-reading that is challenging. Yet unfortunately some of this is has become a reality that educators are working through. It is hard to recognize how technology has interrupted our relationships at the same time as it’s providing more widespread interactions.

Now for some hope. I wrote this paper when Barack Obama was first elected president. It fascinates me on how I projected his impact on cultural development and how it would benefit our educational system.

“Perception of race and ethnicity has drastically changed throughout this decade. This is due to our former president, Barack Obama, being African American. This breakthrough has allowed for curiosity and respect across the races. In previous years, educators had to be more careful of saying something that could be misinterpreted by a student. It has been honorable to watch how race and ethnicity has become valued rather than avoided. This perception change has been largely due to recent political trends.”

And here is a proud proclamation that I absolutely think we should lean into and believe moreso today!

Our future IS in the hands of our youth, and that is where we are beginning to invest our time and money.” With the buildup of powerful corporations and the focus on consumption, commercialism and consumerism, it is essential to focus on the education of future contributors to our society.

And here’s another projection that uncomfortably has been unfolding. Considering the “social dilemna” of media use and advertising, check this out:

“One can envision a dystopian society where individuals become manipulated by unseen advertisers and where group conflicts are exaggerated. Unlimited options are being constrained by the owners of media where privacy and personal space are violated. This is because of the pursuit of individualism more so than developing a collectivist society.”

Now comes a recognition of ‘being a teacher’ in itself. An educator’s job is ever-changing and always growing. Yet to be attuned to the new jobs that develop over time makes the job even more complex. Thus another reason I am grateful that teachers’ salaries have become valued and respected. Maybe looking back to my projection makes me appreciate the salary advancement moreso.

“The rapid rate of knowledge growth is also causing new disciplines as well as new jobs to be available. This puts an immediate pressure on the educational system. We have the demand to now develop competent workers in new and growing fields. This has produced the need for hiring competent instructors to train individuals to advance into these newly developed fields. Because of this demand, it has caused teacher salaries to drastically increase. A field worker could make much more money doing their trade rather than teaching his trade. In order to recruit these highly trained field workers to become educators, incentives were necessary.”

Furthermore, I am incredibly proud (silent high-five-to-self was given here) of my foundational perspective of multicultural education. I’m going to let my paper speak here.

A classroom is shaped by the diversity in the learning environment. This means an educator must be “in the know,” meaning they must seek to understand the cultures that make up their classroom.

Multiculturalism remains to be a drive that shapes education and is still remaking the dimensions of what constitutes a learning environment. An educator no longer plays the role of the “American-izer” but more-so as the “knowledge developer.” The only difference between the two is what lens the teacher is wearing when instructing. An educator must seek to adapt and grow in the classroom environment and they must model this same need to their students by expecting the same. In order for educators to “keep their lens prescription up to date” they are now required to engage in cultural training on an ongoing basis. This knowledge base allows for teachers to understand their students and the outside demands at a much better level. It is now an expectation for teachers to remain intentional and culturally responsive in their instruction.

Now, I’m going to simply copy and paste here. This whole section of my paper is worth reading. Check it out. (Remember this was written in 2010)

How These Forces Have Remade Schools in 2020:

The three direct facets of education have been drastically affected by the above moving forces. With highly advanced technology, more single families, higher cost of living, changing political roles and growing diversity, education was bound to change, or develop for students, schools, and teachers, thus a whole community.

If I were to be a student again in the public school system, my school day would not only be much different, but also the type of demands placed on me by my teachers and parents, and by society. I remember being in high school and doing inquiry projects and being able to participate in two sports at a time. I also remember being able to develop trust in my teachers. Nowadays, it is more difficult to develop relationships with your educators because many things are now computerized. A student may be able to get more immediate results because the computer gives automatic feedback rather than waiting to get your test back from your teacher. This immediate feedback may be worthwhile, but it isn’t as project oriented. Also, everything is full of tests. I would be tested on an ongoing basis, formal to informal. I am a terrible test taker so I know I would fail in today’s education system.

As a teacher, my job would have a different description. I think I would bring more work home, have to do more planning, and my summers would be lost. With a lot of information available, it also means more instructional strategies to use. I would have a difficult time honing down to one method of instruction or classroom management. I would definitely have to remain ‘in the know’ in order to appropriately adapt to the growing needs of a classroom. I have always enjoyed being a teacher, but the demands placed on educators to be adaptable, flexible, knowledgeable, well-trained and technological, leads me to believe that I couldn’t get another job because I would be ‘out-interviewed.’

Being an administrator in a school would also be considered a research position. A guaranteed and viable curriculum would have to be in place with challenging goals. I would need to provide prompt and effective feedback to the workers in my building. I would also need to encourage parent and community involvement in my school despite the dimensions of the community I live in. By doing this, it would ensure a safe and orderly environment. From the growing trends in 2020, it has been essential that I hire highly-qualified educators. Without them, another failure component exists. There is a heightened demand of professionalism in the institute of school. Thus, opportunities must be readily available for ongoing professional growth. Essentially, that is why our new Instructional Facilitator and Learning Coach positions exist.

person on a bridge near a lake
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In conclusion, I wonder what the next ten years’ll bring? Do you? And what are we responsible for in creating the changes we want to see? In education? In society? In leadership? I believe the universe is listening and we can wholeheartedly be a part of how our future evolves. It’s humbling to see that in the short span of ten years there has been incremental growth, while also problems unsolved. Will it take another decade to make the incremental growth needed for resolution? Nonetheless, lets make 2030 the year to look back and be proud of the innovation made during that decade. I believe we can contribute to this great change with the choices we make everyday. May your choice of energy investment today bring you growth and enrichment.

adult alone anxious black and white
Reflections

Absolutes.

When was the last time someone straight forward told you NO. Like ABSOLUTELY NOT. Straight forward. No questions asked. Even if was over something little (or hopefully not big), how did you feel? Did you hard pause and respond with an “ohhhhkkay” or did it escalate your blood pressure and make you want to argue the hard no? Despite your response- the word NO (and tone of voice and context) most likely created some kind of emotion for you. And complacency is not often the first emotion evoked.

adult alone anxious black and white
Photo by Kat Jayne on Pexels.com

Something intriguing to me is the power in the word NO. Even the slight change to “not yet” or “no thank you” can generate a different emotional response. Keeping this in mind, how can we better navigate our interactions with our kids? Whether in the classroom, at home, or on the field/court, we need to develop our self awareness and language to guide our youth (and selves) to becoming their (our)best. We need to be less angry with each other, less tense in our homes and talk more and yell less.

Sounds good right? Yes. Easy? No. We are all humans and have a brain wired to be alert at all times and when threatened or stressed, we react more often than interact. It takes commitment and brain training (skill/scenario practice) for us to develop our capacity. Yet, like you’ve heard before, if you believe it, you can achieve it.

So let me tell you a little more about the how-to. Going back to the simple NO. If it has to do with safety or imminent danger– disregard ALL of this guidance and be direct as needed. This guidance pertains to the behaviors you’re trying to have less of, eliminate or are just plain tired of. Which brings me to the first step- self-awareness. Be real. Are you tired? Hungry? Maslows hierarchy of needs here. If your “window of tolerance” is barely open, you’re NOT going to be patient and will be quicker to throw the heavy NO out. (And be forgiving with yourself if you do- we really are all humans and respond harshly sometimes when we have unmet needs). Forgive yourself but reflect and try to name it to tame it next time (••you can say that you’re tired and annoyed and need for something to stop••)

Next step, is to take a deep breath and give yourself 2 seconds before you say NO (even if it’s at the store and your threenager is assertively asking for the Barbie). You’ll find yourself saying NO in a calmer voice. Adding in a little “yet” or “thank you” can provide a little cushion and make it easier to move into Step 3: empathize. Delivering and empathetic explanation, helps our children understand that we are not NO machines and that we have reason behind what we say. Something like “I know it’s hard to hear a NO when it’s something you really want,” may lead to them respecting you MORE and be willing to problem solve or set goals if they are able to contribute to a future YES. Side note: if you don’t know exactly what to say, you could simple respond empathetically with a “bummer, I know that’s what you want and I know it’s hard to not get it.” Or even, a “oh bummer, not today,” can lead you to quicker success.

adult affection baby casual
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Now let’s talk about the YES. Did you know there is a YES trick?? If someone says something to you that you slightly agree with but want to counter what they are presenting or requesting? Try this sentence stem for response, “yes.. and…(insert respectful addition or counter here)” Now I don’t advise you to use this to one-up BUT it validates voice and respectfully develops the conversation. I also caution the use of “Yes, BUT….” as we may already know this, but BUT discredits your YES (so you might as well say NO). Last caution- don’t say YES with this sentence stem IF you don’t agree with something they said. Be honest. I’m talking about with kids and adults. (Kids are reallllly good about remembering what we say: they are sponges..) Again, this is an example of how we can utilize connection and conversation to create less tension and respectfully navigate our guidance.

Let’s go back to the power in simply hearing the word NO vs hearing the word YES. Daniel Siegel (author of The Yes Brain (and more)) does a powerful thing at his trainings. He will repeat the word NO multiple times (and with different intonations) and ask how the audience felt during that experience. He would then do the same with YES, and reflect on the physiological response. It makes it clear as day. I don’t think any of us would disagree with the fact that simply hearing YES generated a more pleasurable response than NO did. Now keeping this in mind when we are tested daily by our kiddos after our long days at work, it’s important to keep the three steps above (as well as mean reflective) in order for us to communicate effectively and deliver the NO response without a punch but more of a high five. Note to the reader: this can also apply for our spouse and co-workers 💖 And yes, I’ve coached my husband to use it on me too 💖

Bottom line here is, when we hear any sort of ABSOLUTE (in this case NO), our reasoning Brain will deactivate and our emotional Brain will take control of your response. (This is a chemical/scientific thing- not a select-a-mode-in-Brain choice button). Therefore, to keep brain science in mind, we need to first be aware of this (and our response and readiness) before we can gather the muster to develop the language (and composure) to be successful. Now success is NOT PERFECTION– it’s about being a reflective parent (person) and growing from our mistakes.

Lastly, I could write a full summary post about Daniel Siegel’s The Yes Brain: How to Cultivate Courage, Curiosity and Resilience in Your Child book, but I’ll save these for a different day. Yet I believe that this book is by far one of the best for all adults to get (parents, educators, leaders, community members- all y’all). Here’s a link to his book: https://amzn.to/3miv3pk and workbook: https://amzn.to/34sfyFd

And I leave you with this quote from the author himself, Daniel Siegel:

Reflections

Christmas in September

Let’s kick this off with a short anecdotal story. So my 7 year old daughter and I bravely adventured to Costco today. For historical context, we wore our masks (with peppermint oil to bring comfort), equipped with sanitizer spray and were amongst the “counted” humans entering the establishment. My daughter treated it like it was not a disruption to her shopping experience (bonus points for mom prepping!) But then she saw the Christmas Trees—- in September. She profoundly stated (arms risen) “are you kidding me?! It’s not even Halloween!! It’s only September!” She shortly followed with a weak call to action and wanted to speak with “whoever was in charge.” As we drove past the aisles of toys and decoration- she refused to engage because it was “unbelievable.” Her shopping experience had slightly been disrupted by “far too early Christmas displays.”

Photo by fotografierende on Pexels.com

Thankful for the smiles and silliness, I couldn’t help but accept this experience as a resemblance of the current times. School doesn’t look the same. Being around other human beings doesn’t feel the same. Heck- celebrating holidays and birthdays aren’t the same. Finding humor may be our best mental health survival “life jacket” right now. Therefore, I am grateful for the resiliency our children have to help us not become ol’ grumpy folk!

Photo by Min An on Pexels.com

Now as we come together and “synergize,” I want to be real- life is confusing, challenging and exhausting. It’s easy to identify the disruptions and hard to reframe them into possibilities. Thus, a mindset challenge. How can we find humor that Christmas is evident in September? Are we striving for joy by activating our holiday spirit sooner than ever before? If it works- lets go for it! I will happily put my Christmas decorations up! HollowThanksmas! Let’s be jolly, thankful and spooky!

Alas, my daughter’s teacher discussed with her 2nd graders this morning about how to manage their emotional response when they experience frustration. It was the perfect day to have this lesson. I needed it too. Everything seemed to go wrong and my attitude could have become toxic and contagious. Little disappointments could have led to a day of unrest. I am grateful to have my little sidekick remind me that I could “try to do something different” instead of getting frustrated about “the things that weren’t working out for me.” Again, moments of synergy led to better outcomes.

Conclusively, I encourage you to be aware of the response you have to your little sidekick’s support and perspective of the world around them. You’ll be surprised and may find humor, insight, and honest feedback on how to navigate your day with more realistic expectations. I wish you growth and giggles as you go through your days.

Reflections

Revolutionary 2020

Peace cannot be kept by force: it can only be achieved by understanding.”

-Albert Einstein

2020 is hard. On all of us. Emotionally. Relationally. Financially. Academically. Quite honestly, I think our collective trauma will generate new solutions, build new/stronger relationships, and design better systems.

Unfortunately we have conflict before the calm, revolt before resolution and tension before teamwork. We are charged with cultivating solutions to old and new world problems. It will bring discomfort, new perspectives and practice, yet it’s imperative. With how things have been progressing- I’m worried it may generate a civil war because we’ve become so divisive.

We are truly amongst a pivot in history. Future students will study the patterns, politics and events happening around us right now. I believe we are amongst a revolution for humanity as well as a radical shift in our democracy. Systems are being examined, analyzed and redesigned. Because of this, we need to commit to having civil conversations, calm curiosity, and acute awareness to what is unfolding around us.

As previously stated, 2020 has been hard. Yet it’s also be enriching. I have learned so many new things since March 2020. The expertise I’ve gained during this time has widened my perspective. I see the world around me completely different in just over six months. For this reason, I’m grateful for a little slow down and check in. It’s enriched my conversations as well as my convictions.

Let’s grow together and embrace the opportunity in being a part of historical change. We must unify instead of divide. We are HUMAN BEINGS with the same basic needs. Let’s reshape broken systems and advocate for appropriate redesign.

By doing this together we can make revolutionary change and build stronger foundations for our nation and world. We must commit to courageously seek unity and have faith in what our future holds. Seeking common ground can only empower our possibility and potential of our future (wealth, health and happiness).

“None of us, including me, ever do great things. But we can all do small things, with great love, and together we can do something wonderful.”

– Mother Teresa
Reflections

The Power of Reflection

 “Reflection is one of the most underused yet powerful tools for success.” -Richard Carlson

Reflection is defined as “serious thought or consideration” – yet it does NOT necessarily need to be revolutionary, deep or profound. It can be simple and seemingly useless as our thoughts can progress to great ideas and decisions. Therefore, I welcome you to a shift in the definition of reflection: “a thought generated by experience, new knowledge, or conversation.” With this, lets dive in using this self-generated definition of ‘reflection.’

Over the last month or so, I have once (or twice) been reminded that “what we pay attention to- grows.” If I wasn’t such a human, I would have noticed the cultivation of “seeds of thought” that I was actually “watering” rather than “uprooting.” Therefore, I want to encourage you to be self-aware today. What are you noticing? Do you find yourself drawn to certain details? Is this a “planted seed” that you are unintentionally ‘watering’? Rather, is it a “seed” that you’re TRYING to plant but the soil is not “rich” enough? Essentially- What thoughts do you want to nurture and which would you like to weed out?

A great mentor of mine and I were in a deep conversation about what brings us life. Breath. Connection. Self-talk. How we narrate our lives (the consistent scroll of thoughts in our head) is what leads us to decision making and how we perceive our self and others. Therefore, the power is within. How can we build attunement to our thoughts and self-talk? Do we have courage to truly listen to the thoughts in our head? I think there is power in journaling. As a writer, I think reading my thoughts is the purest centering to my soul.

Therefore, I propose a call to action: Take 10 minutes (or 5) and just write down the thoughts going through your head. I encourage you to do this every day at the same-ish time for the next 5 days. I can’t help but be twitterpaited to think of the discoveries you’ll make about yourself. Again, the power is within.

“Your life is a reflection of your thoughts. If you change your thinking, you change your life.” -Brian Tracy

Now- some context. The world around us is spinning. Well it’s always been rotating, but with all that is intensely circling around us, it’s also spinning. With everything that’s disrupted our lives in 2020, I would not be surprised if the earth’s speed of rotation is also impacted. #realworld2020 Though we may be in the middle of a world-wide pandemic, crazy politics, wildfire tragedy, and more, our world has seen tough sh’t before. Therefore, I can’t help but look back to some past leaders during revolutionary and challenging times and be inspired by how they overcame.

Oh my gosh. If you haven’t seen Hamilton yet. Stop reading. Watch it RIGHT now. It’s UH-MAZING. There aren’t words.

Ok, the historical author and activist I will be referring to did NOT appear in Hamilton, yet, he’s still one of the influential figures in the revolution. He authored The Common Sense and the American Crisis (influential pamphlets at the start of the American Revolution). He was an inspiration to the Patriots as they were fighting for independence from Great Britain. So yes, he was an influencer during hard a$$ times. Thomas Paine. Thank you for leadership and influence. Your words still resonate with current world times. Here are some of his notable words:

The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection.”

How did that ‘stick’ with you? What thoughts were generated? Read it again if needed. Feel the words and let thoughts generate. You’re encouraged to jot, draw, captivate or conversate about anything that moved you.

Circling back, today is YOUR day to connect with your thoughts and make note to what they cultivate. How do your thoughts create action and interaction? As you reflect (the most powerful action you can take)- be open to how it builds you. You can only grow by looking inward. Enjoy your attunement and reflection as you navigate a new day!

“Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful.” -Margaret J. Wheatley

What is Self-Reflection and Why it Matters for Our Wellness? Psychology Today article to support your application of these practices: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/201910/what-is-self-reflection-and-why-it-matters-wellness

little girl studying online on computer
Parenting

Starting the Homeschool Year STRONG!

You want your kiddos to be well-behaved? With school-at-home, before, during and after? Are you worried about your new role as your child’s “teacher” or “learning coach?”

Well- I got you! I am going to share with you behavior management golden-nuggets to ensure that YOU feel comfortable AND confident working through the challenges of at-home learning.

After 15 years of teaching and leading, I chose to take a year of leave so that I can lean in and provide the best for my family. And guess what?! I want to share the skills with YOU!

Starting today. Right now. School starts TOMORROW. Let’s start STRONG!

Here’s a powerful proactive behavior management strategy for YOU to begin the year with GREATNESS!

Here’s the video demonstration of using the T-Graph: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBUiFEvc6QQ&t=1s

Here’s the video presentation for using the T-Graph for rewarding behavior choices: https://youtu.be/_9ay71tdgzY

Want an implementation guide to support you? Here’s the listing on TpT: https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Behavior-Expectations-T-Graph-Implementation-Guide-6000115

I wish you THEEEEEEE best with utilizing this for SUCCESS!

I believe in you! You’ve got this!!!!!